it was last night you told me about your h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a h e l e n a (she was far too pretty for her own good) and left me here wondering why i was born with such scars running across my arms.
how you must have loved her the way i wish i could melt into you, soothe the cracks in your skin, heal your suede, bled dry.
i know how you've torn (stiletto heels . p . u . n . c . h . i . n . g . holes into your heart) and what you fear (i've lived through this), i know where you are now and i would never call you lost, angel. (don't let me get in|between your words, just keep going fly high without me.) i wonder how long i will make it alone, hiding in the bathroom with my pills (swallow whole) trying to sink low forget you. i can't find my way here, i'm lost, angel, without you.
back when i believed in you, you painted her image onto my face (.mmoudtiifliactaitoino.n) and i thought you just liked to see me pretty. i'm only trying to hurt you {you know i want no one else but you} yet i'm always the one left with the bruises; half way through i cr/a/ck [break to pieces] and cry* the way i want you to; i am not worth the breath from your lips, i am not worth the warmth of your skin, i am not worth the beat of your heart.
now that you believe in me, call me beautiful to my face (.mmoudtiifliactaitoino.n) make me believe it's ok because you only want me to be hmeer. i can't even fear you when i want to, run away from what you need of me, you are everywhere inside me (there is, then, a world immune from change).
i know how you hurt, precious, i know the shape of your heartache, the substance of pain; i just want to know where it is that i fit in so i can leave you.